Walking Away
Estrangement is taboo. It’s heart-breaking and never the ideal solution, but sometimes it’s the only way to preserve one’s peace. As part of my healing—and my commitment to transparency—I’m sharing my experience to be true to myself and to make others feel less alone. I never imagined cutting ties with my dad’s side of the family. For a long time, I held on to the hope that fairness, respect, and decency would prevail. That even through disagreements, there would be some baseline of mutual understanding. But when money, control, and exclusion take precedence over love, the concept of family itself begins to feel hollow.
So I made the decision to step away—not just from toxic family members, but from the inheritance that came attached to them. It wasn’t an act of bitterness or retaliation. It was an act of self-respect. It was a way to honour my father, to reject the idea that his memory could be reduced to financial calculations and power struggles. It was a way to reclaim my own sense of agency.
This decision wasn’t about pride. It wasn’t about proving a point. It was about reclaiming my agency, protecting my peace, and refusing to participate in a dynamic built on exclusion, greed, and control. More than anything, it was about honoring my father. He was dismissed. Diminished. Treated as though he didn’t matter. And after his passing, that same disregard and hostility extended to me. I could not—and would not—allow that to happen in silence. If I step back and reflect, I see my decision as an extension of my values—values that define who I am, regardless of the circumstances I was forced to navigate.
1. I Choose Integrity
I refuse to reduce family to transactional relationships
If inheriting something means inheriting toxicity, I don’t want it.
Respect and fairness matter more to me than any financial gain.
2. I Refused to Tolerate Emotional Manipulation
I saw through the tactics of control and exclusion.
I set boundaries and stood firm, even when it was difficult.
I chose to protect my peace rather than fight for scraps of validation.
3. I Honoured My Father in the Only Way That Mattered
Walking away was my way of standing up for him.
I would not allow his dignity to be erased or rewritten.
I refused to participate in a dynamic that minimised his worth.
I hold on to the music, hobbies and freedom that he valued most
4. I Took Back My Power
Silence would have been easier, but I chose truth instead.
I called out what needed to be said—not out of vengeance, but clarity.
My decision to leave was mine alone. They don’t get to decide my story.
Moving Forward
Estrangement is never the first choice. But sometimes, it is the only path to self-respect, peace, and freedom. I did not walk away from my family—I walked away from a toxic cycle. I did not reject an inheritance—I rejected a system that valued money over human connection. And most importantly, I did not lose. I chose my dignity. I chose a future that is mine to define. Dad would have liked that.
